According to Wikipedia the leading cause of death for men under the age of 50 in the UK – is suicide!
The rates of depression in general have skyrocketed and for me personally, although it wasn’t the only factor my old job as a security engineer was definitely one of the leading factors. I worked hard, I was reliable, honest and consistent, I climbed the ladder and ended up training all our engineers but other than a small increase in pay and a massive increase in responsibility and stress it never gave me what I truly needed. I felt like the sacrifice of time energy and health was never worth it!
So many men spend their 20’s and 30’s “doing the right thing” we get a job, we work hard, we climb the ladder all in the hope that at some point the reward will justify the work/sacrifice. But then somewhere around our 30’s reality kicks in and we start to question the fact that no matter how much we get paid it’s never enough to create the lifestyle we truly desire and we either just settle in, accept it for what it is and go to the pub or stay home and try to complete P*rnH*b.
Then before we know it the big 40 starts sprinting towards us like a fat chick chasing chips and we are no clearer on what we really do, why we do it and where the fuck we’re going in life!
Men Were Built To Build!
Our homes and our lives. But what we build must be a choice and aligned with our values. It must be our dream not someone else’s!
If you manage to get to 40 before questioning life then you’re either incredibly lucky or possibly just someone who has a huge capacity to take a whole lot of shit before hitting rock bottom (this doesn’t do us any favours either mind) either way if you’re a man especially a millennial the chances of you experiencing depression is almost inevitable!
For me it was my early 30’s when I found myself questioning life and feeling really uncomfortable with my lack of results. In reality I had been questioning life for many years before that but the suicidal thoughts just came and went really quickly and I barely noticed until this one time when I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and found myself having these thoughts whilst looking down onto The Portway in Bristol (my old home town). This moment scared the shit out of me and it was at this point that I knew no one was coming to rescue me. I could end it right now and no one was going to stop me. This thing we call life was all up to me, it was up to me to start taking some huge steps towards completely transforming my life. I had to Choose Living over surviving.
Before I tell you how I escaped from being stuck in a rut and built my own clothing brand and coaching business from scratch without any prior experience I want to share some pretty obvious reasons as to why I believe what men do for a living, a job or a career has a huge effect on their mental health…
Here is a very small selection from an incredibly long list of negative results that an unfulfilling 9-5 job has on a man’s mental health…
- Chronic Stress and Burnout
Corporate environments often involve high-pressure deadlines, long hours, and performance evaluations, which can lead to chronic stress. Over time can result in burnout, characterized by emotional exhaustion, reduced productivity, and feelings of detachment. - Loss of Work-Life Balance
The rigid structure of a 9-to-5 job, coupled with overtime or after-hours emails, phone calls and messages, often disrupts personal life. This lack of balance can strain relationships, limit hobbies, and lead to feelings of being “trapped” in a routine with no personal fulfilment. - Lack of Purpose or Fulfilment
Many corporate roles focus on repetitive tasks or goals that might not align with personal values. Over time, this can cause a sense of purposelessness or frustration, especially for men who value autonomy, creativity, or making a tangible impact. - Social Isolation
While offices or even site work can provide social interaction, the interactions are often superficial or professionally constrained. Coupled with long hours, this can limit opportunities to build meaningful personal relationships, leading to feelings of isolation. - Suppression of Emotions
Corporate culture especially in male dominant industries often discourages open discussions about mental health or vulnerability, leading many men to suppress their emotions. This “bottling up” can contribute to anxiety, depression, and unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or emotional withdrawal.
Obviously I could go on and on and I’m sure you could add many more of your own experiences to this list but one of the many beneficial things I have done since turning my life around is spending less time complaining and blaming and more time taking action to actually create change by focusing on becoming personally responsible for my life and everything in it which is a lot easier to do when you’re no longer being a slave to a boss!!!
Something I now often tell my clients is that the secret to happiness is learning to enjoy the journey. But that’s very difficult to do when the journey your on doesn’t feel like it’s going anywhere and rather than living life you feel like you’re just surviving it!
If you’re not yet quite convinced that starting your own business will be a massive positive step in the right direction then I’ve wrote a short paragraph below describing some of the benefits I have personally experienced as a business owner in comparison to being stuck in a 9-5…
Running my own business offers unparalleled autonomy, allowing me to align my work with my values, passions, and long-term vision without the constraints of corporate hierarchies or toxic workplace politics. The flexibility of an online business enables a healthier work-life balance, giving me the freedom to prioritise family, health, and personal interests while pursuing meaningful and fulfilling work. There is an unlimited growth potential, endless financial opportunities – including passive income. Entrepreneurship also rewards effort and creativity, making success more directly attainable. The ability to innovate without corporate red tape enables creativity and mental stimulation, while building a supportive network of like-minded individuals encourages personal growth and resilience. Ultimately, being your own boss is more than a career choice—it’s a pathway to freedom, purpose, and lasting fulfilment.
This may all sound great and exceptionally appealing but I can hear you shouting about all the reasons why this isn’t possible for you…
- I can’t start a business at my age
- I have bills to pay, so I can’t risk losing my “stable” income
- I don’t have time to even start looking into starting a business
- I have no idea how to start a business or even what my business would be
- And what if I fail and lose everything
- I’ve only ever worked in one industry so can’t do anything else
- I’ve come soo far in my current career and cant afford to start again at the bottom
While all these challenges are real they are mostly just in our head and of course I’m sure you don’t need telling that anything worth doing isn’t easy and if it was then everyone would be doing it right!?
But times have changed dramatically and still continue to change at the speed of light so the concept of remaining the same and sticking to one career path is no longer something we have to do. We all have access to soo many digital tools that can eliminate everyone of those doubts listed above, it truly is possible to build a business that works around your current lifestyle.
I used to be a security engineer for 15 years, before that I was a personal trainer then in April 2022 I sold my house quit my job and moved down to Cornwall to continue building my own clothing brand and more recently my coaching business full time and I now get to work when I want, where I want and with whoever I want.
I Choose Living – What about you?
And that’s the key message here ‘What About YOU?’ What are you going to do to create the change you desire?
For me it was educating myself, so I started looking at the people who were doing what I wanted to do and eventually I stumbled across ‘The Modern Wealthy’ and it was this education that enabled me to completely transform my life into something I truly love rather than something I want to escape.
So whatever you decide to do from this point forward just make sure you Choose Living even if that means to stop complaining and blaming and to start accepting that your life is the result of your actions so you must embrace where you are and start enjoying it because it is your choice either remain the same or create change.
Click The ‘I Choose Living’ Link Below and I will send you a free video workshop series which shows how you too can transform your life by building a business you love…
Excellent read.